In Which Giant Colin-in-the-Pond Moves the Editrix to Song

Originally posted on AustenBlog.

We received a press release telling us about a giant statue of wet-shirted Mr. Darcy that has been installed in the Serpentine in London’s Hyde Park to publicize a new series on UKTV called “Drama.”

Here’s a photo, helpfully provided by the publicist. Click to embiggen:

firthzilla

Several things sprung immediately to mind:

  • One can pretend it’s not Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy, but after all he’s the only one who goes for a swim. We don’t count the Lost in Austen one because it was an imitation.
  • It’s a good thing Colin has retained a sense of humor about the whole Darcy thing. At least, we think he has. (Private to Mr. Firth: Dude, you have an Oscar. Laugh at it.)
  • They do know that Mr. Darcy doesn’t go in the pond in the book, right?
  • They do know that we never actually see Mr. Darcy in the pond even in P&P95, right? (cf. Miss Bridget Jones–the dive was done by a stuntman, the underwater shots were done in a tank at Ealing Studios. The rest is all your heated imagination.)

This is either the greatest thing ever for sheer comedy value, or the Austen fandom has truly reached its nadir. Being a glass-half-full kind of girl (stop laughing), the Editrix has decided that it’s the greatest thing ever, and it has already occasioned much hilarity amongst Austen friends with a similar sense of humor.

A comment by Heather L. (“Firthzilla attacks London”) has inspired a filk based on a certain song by the Blue Öyster Cult. And then we went into Wawa to pay for fuel for the voiture tonight and guess what was playing on the loudspeaker? IT WAS A SIGN.

And here is a link to the lyrics.

Herewith we present to our Gentle Readers: FIRTHZILLA! A filk of Godzilla, by the Blue Öyster Cult.

With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound
He declines to dance with all the girls in Meryton

Helpless people on a country walk
Scream bug-eyed as he strips his waistcoat off

He sneers at your family, but keeps hanging around
As he wades through those upon whom he looks down

Oh, no, they say he’s got ten thou
Go go Firthzilla!
Oh, no, there goes Derbyshire
Go go Firthzilla!

Literature shows again and again
Jane Austen points out the folly of man (and woman)

FIRTHZILLA!

Really, it just filked itself.

After the jump, the full press release, just to prove we really don’t make this stuff up. Continue reading